Coworker: Do you have a Blackberry?
Billionaire Boss: No, I have an AT&T.
Throwback: Drunk Jessica Taylor at her party in May 09 “everybody is at mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmah party mmok?”
Coworker: Man, I have a headache.
Creepy Pedo Guy: You know, I have something in my car that will take care of that. It's a Smith and Wesson 357. One shot and you won't feel anything. Ever again.
first IM of the day
jennermelons: destroy all humans
Miley Cyrus + Nicholas Sparks Movie =
and me wanting to kill myself
i'm just gonna leave this here
tiffanyarei: baby come bust mah thing open like da penitentiary
at least we have one thing in common
Me: Hey, have you seen Bob?
Creepy Pedo Guy: No. I don't care where Bob is. He could fall into the black abyss and I would just stand there and watch.
Coworker: Who are you talking about? Billionaire Boss?
Creepy Pedo Guy: No, I would never talk about Billionaire Boss that way. I would push him in.
work chats with creepy pedo guy
CPG: Good morning!
Me: ....*glancing at clock...1:45 PM*
CPG: ....it's ALL morning. Until it's dark. MWAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAAHA.
So I was just helping my mom look for her boss'...
And I got to the house and started yelling “CHERNOBYL! CHERNOBYYYYYYYYYL! CHEEEERNOOOOOBYL!” and my mom goes “Tiffany, the dog’s name is Chablis” which apparently is some fancy rich people wine and not a nuclear disaster.
Official: '24' ends on Fox →
deeznutsinyoface: jazzandbuddhism: A long overdue decision. is it effective immediately? so i don’t feel guilty by not watching the rest of this season?