Astronomers have discovered a habitable planet 20...
Orbiting a nearby red dwarf star called Gliese 581 are 6 planets. One of them is a rocky ball, bigger than Earth, in the “habitable zone” where water is liquid and temperatures are human-friendly. It’s possible we could live there. Unlike Earth, this planet called Gliese 581g, is “tidally locked” to its star. That means one side of the planet always faces the...
Jennifer: I got a free packet of office shit from a vendor.
Tiffany: I get free office supplies all the time. It's called "stealing."
there is so much love exploding from my chest...
Jessica: i broke up with travis
Jessica: like super dumped him last night
Jessica: we got in like a tiff a couple days ago because i didnt know if i was ready to move in with him
Jessica: then last night i went and stayed at my sisters
Jessica: and i forgot my phone charger so i drove back to his house
Jessica: and i saw him drunk as fuck walking into his house with a like middle aged woman
Jessica: AND I DIED LAUGHING AND CALLED MY SISTER AND TOLD HER I WAS GOING TO GO RUIN HIS LIFE
Jessica: and i did
Jessica: oh, i did
Jessica: SIDENOTE (travis is a recovering alcoholic and he never drinks anymore but he went and got wasted last night)
Jessica: i waited two minutes
Jessica: then i walked up the stairs
Jessica: and the top lock was locked to his apartment
Jessica: and i was like knocking and i was like "babeeee? answer the door what the fuck are you okay?"
Jessica: totally like pretending to be caring
Jessica: and he liked wouldn't answer
Jessica: and so i kept knocking
Jessica: and like 5 MINUTES LATER
Jessica: he answers
Jessica: and hes like hey im sorry i locked the door
Jessica: and i was like oh its okay babe i forgot my charger and my cardigan
Jessica: and he was like im so wasted
Jessica: and i was like aww good for you babe lay down and go to sleep i gotta grab my charger
Jessica: THEN I WENT TO THE CLOSET WHERE I KNEW THIS WOMAN WAS HIDING LOLLLLLLL AND I OPENED IT AND I WAS LIKE
Jessica: WOWWWWWWWW LOOK WHO THE FUCK WE HAVE HERE
Jessica: HEY WHORE FANCY MOVING TO THE SIDE SO I CAN GET MY CARDIGAN BEFORE YOU GET SLUT ALL OVER IT
Jessica: and i grabbed it and was like thank you and fuck you ya fucking whore
Jessica: and then i turned around to travis and i was like youre a piece of shit and i fucking hate you
Jessica: then i walked into the kitchen and grabbed a glass bottle and threw it at the wall hahahahaha
Jessica: and i was like FUCK YOU YA FUCKERS
Jessica: and slammed the door
Jessica: then i called my friend across the street and told her
Jessica: then she came over and was like oh my god we need to get your shit
Jessica: so i barged his door down and grabbed my shit
Jessica: and she like ran out of the house hahahahahahaha
Jessica: they were fully clothed or whatever BUT WE KNEW WHAT WAS GONNA GO DOWN
Jessica: and he like started crying
Jessica: and i was like oh shut the fuck up
Jessica: and i grabbed my clothes and laptop and i was like i'll be back for my shoes tomorrow so dont fucking touch a thing
Jessica: then he sent me texts about how he was gonna off himself and he was just talking to her and that nothing was gonna happen
Jessica: then he called me BAWLING and i was like ohhhhhh boofuckity hoo travis why did you fucking hide her then you piece of shit
Jessica: and he was like I WAS NERVOUS I DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO DO
Jessica: and i was like ohhhhhhhhhhh you piece of shit dont kill yourself or i will shit on your grave
Tiffany: I love you so much it physically hurts right now.
I just ate a peanut M&M that tasted like straight...
I think this cold has my taste buds thrown off… I ate them anyway.
just remembering that while will and i were in houston, i saw my first group of ground-zero-mosque protesters. i stopped the car next to them, flicked them off, mouthed “fuck you” and then drove away. i really wanted to just run them all over…standing there in their sunglasses and visors with this dumb, grim expression like someone just defecated on an infant. THE FUCKING MOSQUE...